LITTLE ROCK — To help parents determine if their child is ready to stay at home alone, an extension family life expert says it is critical to focus on maturity, emergency preparedness and teaching children age-appropriate independence.
Brittney Schrick, extension associate professor and family life specialist for the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture, said today’s generation of parents has been handed a “really difficult task.”
By Rebekah Hall
University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture
“Parents today are expected to be there all the time, to be constant shepherds of their children, and to focus on their physical safety to a degree that often causes guilt in the grown-ups and delays development of independence and life skills in kids,” Schrick said.
Schrick said that though it can be intimidating for parents, teaching a child the skills needed to stay home alone — and then letting them use those skills and build on them over time — shows children several important things.
“This shows your child that you trust them to take care of themselves and your shared space, that you believe they can make good decisions, and that they are worthy of that trust,” Schrick said. “Equipping a child to complete a task helps them build confidence that they can do things and do them well. If grown-ups are always around, kids can’t gain the confidence to make mistakes and learn how to fix them.”
Asking the right questions
Schrick said she suggests parents start by asking their children how they feel about staying home alone.
“If they are uncomfortable or afraid of staying home alone, they will have a harder time making safe decisions, and they may have more difficulty wanting to stay home when they are older,” Schrick said.
For children who say they are up to the task, Schrick said she suggests “letting kids gradually stay home for a little longer as they get older.”
“This lets the child get used to staying alone, and it lets the grown-ups get a good idea of how their child will behave,” Schrick said.
Schrick said parents should consider the following questions to help determine if their child is ready to stay home alone, and for how long:
- Does your child have a way to contact you, another adult, or first responders in case of an emergency? “If not, they should not be left alone,” Schrick said. “Ideally, they would have a phone that does not rely on internet access to work; however, if internet access is reliable in your area, an internet-based phone, tablet or other device can be used.”
- How does your child respond in a crisis? “Does your child get nervous or easily panicked?” Schrick said. “Do they have a hard time remembering what to do if something out of the ordinary happens? If they don’t handle emergencies calmly, they should probably not be left alone for a very long time.”
- Do you trust your child to follow house rules, handle things around the home safely, and avoid dangerous situations? “If not, they are likely not mature enough to stay home alone,” Schrick said.
In general, Schrick said children should be able to do the following:
- Read well enough to follow simple instructions.
- Understand what to do in an emergency, such as a fire or storm.
- Know who to call in an emergency and have a way to make that call.
- Be able to feed themselves simple snacks and meals.
- Know what to do if someone knocks on the door.
Age guidelines
Schrick said Arkansas does not have a specific age at which it is legal for a child to stay home alone.
“Some school districts may have specific limits for a child to get off the bus alone, but there is no statewide mandate,” she said.
Schrick said children under the age of 9 should generally not be left alone for longer than 20-30 minutes, though she said that “every child is different, and every situation is different.”
An older child, between ages 9-11 or so, should not be left alone for more than a couple of hours, Schrick said.
“Boredom can sometimes get the best of them, and they may end up getting into things that can cause safety hazards, damage or embarrassment,” Schrick said.
Young teens, aged 12-14, can generally be left alone for longer periods, but they need to be given clear rules about what is acceptable for them to do and not do.
Emergency preparedness
Schrick said that when it comes to emergencies, preparing a child to respond to unlikely but dangerous situations, as well as more likely but less severe ones, is essential.
“Focus on the ‘what to do’ rather than the emergency itself,” Schrick said. “If you live in a neighborhood where certain types of emergencies may be more likely — such as power outages, flooding or violence — be sure to keep those things in mind when choosing what to prepare your child for.
“If they are common, they may have watched you deal with those things before, so you can use examples from previous experiences,” Schrick said.
Schrick said children should be taught to respond to the following situations:
- Fire: “This includes a small fire, like a popcorn bag in the microwave, and a large fire they might need to leave the house and call the fire department for,” Schrick said. Keep a fire extinguisher, smoke detectors and a fire blanket in the house in accessible locations. While older children may be taught how to put out small fires, children should understand that their first priority is to get out of the house.
- Severe weather: “Where do they need to go if the tornado sirens go off?” Schrick said. “Do they have a flashlight available if the power goes out?”
- Household dangers: “They should know how to turn off the water in a toilet or sink that is overflowing, what natural gas smells like and when it can be dangerous, and how to open and close windows,” Schrick said.
- A knock on the door: Children should know what to do if someone knocks on the door and is insisting on being let in, Schrick said.
Especially for younger kids, it is important to find a balance between preparation and not overwhelming them, Schrick said.
“Most families have a fire plan and know what to do in a storm, so make sure to remind them of those things or to make a plan if you haven’t done so,” Schrick said.
Schrick said older kids and teens, especially if they are also caring for siblings, should be prepared to handle emergency situations the way an adult would. If they cannot do that, they should not be put in charge of younger children.
Teaching telephone skills
Schrick said that children today are less likely than previous generations to have answered a telephone call from a stranger or made a telephone call on their own.
“Because of this, it is important to help children know what information they would need to share with someone they might need to call in an emergency,” Schrick said. She suggested contacting the local non-emergency number and asking if a child can call 911 to practice in case of an emergency.
Teaching a child what to do before they need to do it helps them build a toolkit of skills they can call on when needed, Schrick said.
For more information and resources, check out the extension Home Alone Handbook or the Personal & Family Well-Being page on the Cooperative Extension Service website.
To learn about extension programs in Arkansas, contact your local Cooperative Extension Service agent or visit uaex.uada.edu. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram. To learn more about the Division of Agriculture, visit uada.edu. To learn more about ag and food research in Arkansas, visit the Arkansas Agricultural Experiment Station at aaes.uada.edu.
About the Division of Agriculture
The University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture’s mission is to strengthen agriculture, communities, and families by connecting trusted research to the adoption of best practices. Through the Agricultural Experiment Station and the Cooperative Extension Service, the Division of Agriculture conducts research and extension work within the nation’s historic land grant education system.
The Division of Agriculture is one of 22 entities within the University of Arkansas System. It has offices in all 75 counties in Arkansas and faculty on three campuses.
Pursuant to 7 CFR § 15.3, the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture offers all its Extension and Research programs and services (including employment) without regard to race, color, sex, national origin, religion, age, disability, marital or veteran status, genetic information, sexual preference, pregnancy or any other legally protected status, and is an equal opportunity institution.
